


La Relance D'Arthur

by age_of_sharkbait



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Lives (Merlin), Canon Era, Gen, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Post-Magic Reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2020-11-28 13:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/age_of_sharkbait/pseuds/age_of_sharkbait
Summary: We all know how Arthur and Merlin's story ends: lots and lots of death and heartbreak. But what if Arthur didn't die? This story will start towards the end of s5ep13 on the shores of the Lake of Avalon. I will try to stay as true to the canon as possible, with some slight changes, in order to explore how life in Camelot would have proceeded if Arthur lived after accepting Merlin's magic.





	1. On the Shores of Avalon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!  
This is my first time writing fanfiction so please give me any and all feedback! I started this after rewatching Merlin for the third time and finally deciding that I wanted to change the ending. Hope y'all enjoy.

"Merlin. There is nothing you can do."

He knew Kilgharrah would say that. The prophecy had come to pass, just as the dragon always said it would. But Merlin just couldn't accept it.

"I've failed?" With Arthur lying unconscious next to him, Merlin couldn't think of the prophecy or his destiny, those things were never his mission. That had always been keeping Arthur alive. He could barely even bring himself to look at the wound Mordred had inflicted.

"No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building has come to pass."

"I can't lose him, he's my friend!"

The dragon turned away, hardly able to stand the grief in Merlin's voice. But when he turned back to see Merlin press his forehead against the dying king's, he felt some of the sadness himself.

"Merlin, I have watched you deny your destiny since the day you stepped foot in Camelot. Trying to convince me of Morgana's potential for good, saving the young druid all those years ago."

Merlin cringed at Kilgharrah's words. "I should've listened to you," he cried.

"No, Merlin," Kilgharrah hissed. "You were always trying to save someone else. You were always trying to do what you thought was right. You did not even take the chance to kill me when I killed so many innocents upon my release."

Merlin gave a cold laugh and tried to hold Arthur closer. "I couldn't have killed you, Kilgharrah. Despite everything, we're friends, kin."

"I know that very well, young warlock. And now," he continued softly, "I cannot bear to see you in such pain."

Merlin craned his neck to look up at the dragon. There was no way...Kilgharrah would never...

"I've seen you stubbornly but heads with fate and destiny so many times for others, including myself. Maybe just this once, I could do it for you."

"I-I don't know any spells strong enough," Merlin shook his head. "Not even the one you taught me had any effect."

"Then perhaps we should try it together."

Merlin could hardly believe his ears. Very slowly, he placed his hand on Arthur's chest. 

"I must warn you, Merlin," Kilgharrah stood and shook out his wings. "I am very old and the strain of this magic might bring my time to an end."

Merlin turned to the dragon. For the first time he noticed the tired way his wings sagged and frowned. "Kilgharrah, I couldn't--"

"Enough of that, old friend. I have made my decision. But be careful. Fate has the grip of a wolf and when it comes again for Arthur, I will not be there to help you."

Merlin nodded, fresh tears falling. He didn't want to lose Kilgharrah, but there was no way he could pass up a chance to save Arthur, to save his king and his best friend. "Together, then."

Kilgharrah nodded back. They both breathed in, and when they spoke again, they spoke together as dragons. 

_ "Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare mid þam sundorcræftas þære ealdaþ æ!"  _

Merlin spoke with an intensity he had never felt before. He had come closer than ever to losing Arthur and thanks to the sacrifice of Kilgharrah, there was a chance, and he would not fail. He spoke with no thought of his abysmal history with healing spells. In that moment, he was just as confident in his identity as the greatest sorcerer as Kilgharrah ever was.

The dragon spoke in his rumbling voice and thought only of the boy beside him. He had grown to love him over the years, and not just because of the bond they shared as dragon and dragon lord. In that moment, Kilgharrah thought not about saving Arthur Pendragon's life, but saving Merlin's heart.

Merlin took his hand away from the wound on Arthur's stomach and as he did, a wide grin brightened his face. It was gone! Just a pale white scar remained to tell of the day Camelot almost lost her one true king.

"It worked," Merlin whispered. "It worked!"

His mind numbing joy faltered as he heard a huge crash behind him.

Kilgharrah had fallen over in a fit of weakness. His massive chest rose and fell unevenly. 

"Kilgharrah!" Merlin glanced once more at Arthur. He saw his king breath, then turned and went to the dragon's side.

Kilgharrah smiled weakly. "Just remember, Merlin...You are not the greatest sorcerer only because of your power...but because of your heart as well. Stay true, young warlock."

"Thank you, old friend. I couldn't have done this without you." He rested his hand against Kilgharrah's scales as they shuddered with one last breath. "In sibbe gerest, Kilgharrah."

Merlin sat with his hand against Kilgharrah for a long moment, trying to accept that he would never speak to him again.

"Don't tell me you killed that beast," a weak voice ripped Merlin from his reverie.

Merlin spun around and saw Arthur propping himself up on one elbow. Before he fully realized what he was doing, Merlin ran to Arthur, sliding on his knees to tackle him in a bear hug.

"Woah, woah!" Arthur shouted. "Get off of me, Merlin! What on earth are you thinking?"

Arthur shoved Merlin away, but Merlin's smile never wavered. "I was thinking I'm glad you're alive."

"Of course I'm alive," Arthur blustered. "You could hardly think Mordred would kill me, could you?"

"So all that stuff you said before you passed out, if you didn't think you were dying why would you say 'thank you'?" Merlin jibed.

"Hmm. That doesn't sound like me."

"And what about those two days off you promised?"

"Now that really doesn't sound like me."

"You do realize you would be dead if it weren't for me? Me and Kilgharrah."

Arthur frowned. "Kilgharrah? Wasn't that the name of the dragon my father imprisoned under Camelot? The one that escaped and laid waste to my city?"

"Er, no?" Merlin cringed away from the blow he knew was coming. Sure enough, Arthur smacked Merlin over the head.

"You're the one responsible for releasing it, aren't you? You and your," Arthur waved his hands in the air, "your magic?"

Merlin couldn't help but laugh. "Uh, yes actually. I'd made him a promise."

"A promise to a dragon?"

"I am a dragon lord, afterall." Merlin shrugged.

Arthur threw his hands up dramatically. "You're a sorcerer and a dragon lord? Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me? Perhaps that you're my fairy godmother as well?"

"No. That's it I think."

Arthur snorted. "You think? Hardly."

"And we're back to square one," Merlin sighed. He feigned exasperation but he was so indescribably happy to hear Arthur's insults again.

Arthur grabbed Merlin's forearm and looked at him seriously. "I did mean what I said."

"I know." Merlin tried to adopt Arthur's serious face, but his smile kept poking through, ruining any aspect of seriousness.

Arthur struggled to stand up. Merlin steadied him, worry cropping back up. Once Arthur was stable, he walked a few shaky steps and looked back. "Well everything except those two days off, of course."

"Of course." Merlin trailed after Arthur pretending to pout, but that persistent smile just kept coming back. Then he glanced back and stopped.

"Keep up, Merlin," Arthur called when he noticed Merlin wasn't behind him.

"There's one last thing I need to do." Merlin walked to the shore of the Lake of Avalon. This place had almost been Arthur's tomb. Now it was the resting place for another.

Merlin's eyes flashed gold and time seemed to slow. A single humanoid shape with wings barely taller than a finger came into focus at the edge of the lake.

"Greetings, Sidhe," Merlin called out.

"Emrys. You have cheated fate it seems," the creature grinned with all its teeth. "For now."

Merlin tried to push away his unease. He had a complicated past with these unsettling fairies. "I come to ask you a favor."

The Sidhe tilted his head.

"The Great Dragon Kilgharrah died an honorable death, will you honor him with a proper burial?"

"He was a being of magic," the Sidhe said, "I could not deny him a decent burial. Rest assured wizard, it will be done. But keep in mind that you brought his end in a futile attempt to cheat a death that is predestined."

Merlin narrowed his eyes and tried not to take the insult too hard. It was easy for the Sidhe to say, they were immortal in their underwater city.

Suddenly time sped up and there was a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"He was a true friend, wasn't he?" Arthur said.

"He was." Merlin answered without turning around.

"And he's dead because of me."

Merlin said nothing. He was looking at Kilgharrah's body.

Arthur squeezed Merlin's shoulder. "Let's go home."


	2. On the Fields of Camlann

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be shorter than the first. Just trying to flesh out the general story line for now. Also, Aithusa is totally a girl, fight me.

The bloody fields of Camlann were eerily silent in the wake of the battle. Fallen knights from Morgana's and Arthur's armies lay scattered in the grass. Merlin had stopped the fighting, but not soon enough for these men.

A single moaning cry pierced the evening sky. A pure white dragon winged over the carnage, sweeping its head from side to side. Its misshapen wings labored with the effort of keeping itself in the air.

A faint movement below caught the dragon Aithusa's attention. She folded her wings and plummeted to the ground, landing next to a young man in torn chainmail.

Mordred reached out to the dragon. He could hardly move, Arthur had driven Excalibur deep into his side. An empty coldness had started to spread from his stomach. He was almost surely going to die here, but at least Aithusa was here. At least he wouldn't die alone.

Aithusa lowered her head to inspect his blood stained armor. She let out another sad moan.

Mordred's eyes sharpened. He was a druid, which meant he could more or less understand the dragon even though she never learned to speak, and she had just shared news that turned Mordred's heart cold.

Morgana was dead. Slain by Merlin with the same sword that struck Mordred.

Aithusa's sad eyes locked onto Mordred's own and they shared a moment of grief. Morgana had been bitter to the very end, and it was devastating that she never got the closure and revenge she had desperately fought for.

"I know you loved her, Aithusa," Mordred's voice was hardly more than a whisper. "But you need to go on. I'm sorry I won't be there for you."

Aithusa lowered her head at that. Not only did she know of Morgana's death, but she also sensed the passing of the dragon Kilgharrah. She was now the last of her kind and alone in every way.

Mordred coughed violently, spitting up blood which made Aithusa draw back in alarm.

She gave a panicked squeal and turned back to Mordred's wound. Morgana had loved him, and that was enough to motivate Aithusa. She breathed a small burst of flame over the gash.

Mordred yelled out in pain, but when Aithusa relented, the numbness surrounding his wound started to fade. He looked down at his side to see an ugly red mark, but the sword wound had mostly closed up.

"Aithusa, you healed me," Mordred gasped.

He sat up, using Aithusa's head for balance. He grimaced in pain, but welcomed the feeling after the cold numbness. He was going to live.

Mordred looked into Aithusa's pale blue eyes. "We have work to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was only fitting that if Arthur was saved by a dragon, so should Mordred. Anyway, I'm not sure what Mordred is planning yet, but I think we can safely assume it doesn't bode well for Camelot.


	3. Homebound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's gonna pick up soon now that the gang is back together. I will never not enjoy writing the dialogue between Arthur and Merlin.

It took Arthur and Merlin several days to approach Camelot's northern border. Arthur had to rest often because, even though he hated admitting it, he was still recovering from the mortal wound Mordred dealt him.

"This is ridiculous," Arthur said after Merlin forced him to stop for the third time in one day. "We are never going to get to Camelot at this rate. Besides, I'm fine."

Merlin scoffed. "How many times do I need to tell you? As your physician and your friend, you need to rest! You almost died."

"First of all, Gaius is my physician, you are a temporary replacement at best. And secondly, if you're some all powerful sorcerer, why can't you... I don't know, teleport us home?"

"You don't know the first thing about magic, do you," Merlin scoffed.

"I'm afraid I haven't had many opportunities to learn." Arthur shifted to get closer to the fire Merlin made.

Merlin stared at Arthur in silence.

Arthur poked at the fire a few times with a stick before tossing it aside. "You've clearly got something to say. Spit it out already."

"What happens when we get back to Camelot?" Merlin draped his arms over his knees and looked down. 

"Well hopefully we'll both get a warm bath-"

"That isn't what I meant." Merlin said quietly.

"I know what you meant." Arthur sighed. "It's a delicate situation-"

Merlin snorted and rolled his eyes. 

"-but I was serious when I said I didn't want you to change," he finished. 

"Does that mean you will let magic be practiced in Camelot?" Merlin perked up.

"I'm saying I'll do what I can, Merlin. We have to do this the right way or else there will be chaos. That might mean taking things slow."

Merlin tried not to feel let down. He knew Arthur was a man of his word, but he had been working towards this moment for a long time now.

"Come on, then," Arthur stood up and put his sword belt back on. "If we hurry we can make the border by sundown. The knights are probably worried sick."

"Yeah, not to mention Gwen." Merlin added.

Arthur's face fell. "Guinevere. I sent Gaius back with the Pendragon Crest. I can't imagine what she's going through right now."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough," Merlin said and set off through the trees.

Arthur groaned and followed him.

They passed hours walking through the forest. Twice they had to lay flat between some tree roots to avoid a patrol of saxons, the last remnants of Morgana's army. Then, finally, the tree line broke to reveal a vast expanse of rolling green hills.

"Camelot," Arthur sighed. "Home at last."

Merlin picked up his pace, but Arthur was lagging behind. "Maybe we should rest again."

Arthur shook his head. "We're so close."

Merlin frowned but dropped back to match Arthur's step.

"Who else knows?" Arthur asked after a bit.

"About my magic?" Merlin said.

"No, that you're a bloody idiot," Arthur shot back. "Of course about your magic."

Merlin laughed. "Well, Gaius, obviously. But...that's it, really. Except Lancelot."

"Lancelot knew? Since when?"

"Since I helped him kill the Griffin."

"I cannot believe you."

"What, you don't think I'm brave enough?" Merlin joked.

"No, not that." Arthur shook his head. "I just never thought you were a good liar and now I find out you were keeping this massive secret."

"I wanted to tell you." Merlin said. "So many times I could've but..."

"You were afraid." 

Merlin looked at Arthur. "Well you would've been as well."

"I understand, don't get all defensive."

They continued walking in silence.

"But what about when Mordred was wounded by the Disir?” Arthur blurted out. “I asked you if I should let magic return to Camelot and you said no!"

"No, I had to. I thought if you said no then the Disir would let Mordred die but--"

"What?" Arthur interrupted. "You  _ wanted _ Mordred to die?"

"It was his destiny to kill you at Camlann. I was trying to prevent that."

"You gave up your one chance at returning magic to try and save me?" Arthur looked down.

Merlin couldn't think of anything to say. Arthur evidently couldn't think of anything either. They continued their trek until they heard the sound of hoofbeats in the distance. Merlin and Arthur exchanged a glance before heading toward the sound.

A dozen mounted knights clad in chainmail and red cloaks appeared over the hills. As they got closer, Arthur and Merlin were able to recognize the knight leading the group.

"Sir Leon!" Arthur exclaimed.

The horses thundered to a stop in front of the two tired men. Sir Leon dismounted and ran towards them.

"Arthur, Merlin, what happened?" He demanded, clasping Arthur's forearm in greeting. "I lost sight of you on the battlefield. We thought..."

"Think nothing more," Arthur said. "I was wounded but Merlin here got me to safety just in time."

Sir Leon led them back to the horses. "And a good thing he did."

"You two," Leon singled out two knights, "ride back to Camelot and bring back two more horses. Deliver news to the queen that King Arthur lives."

"Yessir," the knights chorused and wheeled their mounts around to ride back the way they came.

"We'll wait here for their return," Sir Leon said with a glance at Arthur. "You look like death itself."

Merlin gave Arthur a look that screamed I told you so and walked away to gather some firewood.

While Merlin set up camp, Arthur and Leon exchanged stories. Merlin listened on edge when Arthur got to the part about Merlin's magic...but Arthur didn't say anything. Just that Merlin saved him. Merlin frowned, unsure of what to think, and went back to cooking their dinner.

Sir Leon recounted their losses from the battle. Dozens of men had fallen. But there was worse news.

"Gwaine and Percival still haven't made it back. I'm beginning to fear the worst."

Later after almost everyone had fallen asleep, Merlin lay awake absorbed in his thoughts. Where were Percival and Gwaine? Why didn't Arthur tell Leon about his magic? If he asked, Merlin expected another "it's a delicate situation" as an answer. Was it better that he didn't? Leon had never welcomed magic, but the Druids  _ had _ saved his life once...

Something sharp poked Merlin in the back. He shuffled around in his blankets to see Arthur holding a stick.

"What was that for?"

"To see if you were awake."

"Well I am now." Merlin sat up. "What is it?"

For once, Arthur looked unsure of himself.

Of course that only made Merlin all the more curious. "What?"

"Show me a spell," he finally said.

"Really?" Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, really. I asked didn't I?"

Merlin glanced around to make sure no one was awake. Satisfied, he turned back to Arthur. He took a deep breath and held his hand out to the fire. " _ Hoppaþ nu swicae swá lig flíehen _ ."

Merlin's eyes flashed and the cinders from the fire drifted up in a spiralling pattern. They flowed through the air in a leisurely dance, like stars come down to earth, mindless of the wind that should have put them out.

Merlin smiled as he watched his work, unaware that Arthur was paying more attention to the sorcerer than his magic.

"You really love this, don't you?" Arthur whispered.

"Magic is who I am." Merlin shrugged.

One of the knights made a noise and turned over. 

" _ Alíese _ !" Merlin hissed and the cinders winked out of existence. 

The knight didn't move again. He had only shifted in his sleep. Merlin glanced at Arthur, sure that he would scold him for being so jumpy, but the king looked sad.

"I'm used to hiding it," Merlin shrugged. "But that will change. I believe in the future you will bring, Arthur. One where I am finally free to be me."

Arthur gave a small smile. "Let's get some rest."

...

The two knights returned early the next morning with horses for Arthur and Merlin. Merlin mounted his black steed and sighed in relief. "Can you believe it? No more walking through forests and tripping on roots!"

"I give it an hour," Arthur said to Leon.

"An hour before what?" Merlin guided his horse closer.

Arthur glanced back. "Before you start complaining about being in the saddle for so long."

Leon laughed as Arthur spurred his horse and took off south.

"Very funny," Merlin said to himself as he flicked the reigns.

They traveled for three hours before the spires of the castle appeared over the treeline. Merlin relished the sound of hooves on cobblestone as they raced through the streets and into the courtyard.

Guinevere and Gaius were waiting on the stairs to the citadel.

Arthur jumped off his horse before it had even come to a complete stop. He marched up the stairs, his cloak billowing behind him and embraced Gwen.

Merlin looked on, dismounting slower. Gaius smiled at Merlin and Merlin couldn't help but grin back. He grabbed the reins of Arthur's horse and started to lead them back to the stables. He hated to think of what shape they were in after he was gone for so long.

"None of that, Merlin," Arthur called him back. "Let someone else take care of the horses, we've much to discuss."

With that, Arthur, Gwen, and Sir Leon went inside.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin handed off the horses to one of the knights and ran after Arthur. 

Gaius stopped him before he could enter the castle. "Merlin. It gladdens my heart to see you and Arthur back in one piece, but there's a problem."

"What is it, Gaius?" Merlin never could catch a moment’s rest. He had hoped there would be some time to relax before the next crisis emerged.

"We'd better get the King as well."

They found Arthur already holding a meeting at the round table. The councilmen were giving reports of everything that had been happening while Arthur was gone.

"My lord," Gaius interrupted a report about saxon patrols.

Arthur waved his hand for Gaius to continue.

"About an hour before you arrived, one of the border patrols brought back some wounded men."

"See to them as best you can, Gaius." Arthur said.

"Sire, one of them," Gaius glanced at Merlin, "is Sir Gwaine."

Arthur stood up. "What condition is he in?"

"You'd better come see for yourself."

Merlin's heart sank. He followed Arthur and Gaius in worried silence. 

"Percival brought him back," Gaius was saying. "It seems that Morgana tortured him for information. She left him to die."

That must have been how Morgana had found Arthur and Merlin in the woods. Merlin’s stomach twisted when he thought about the pain Gwaine must have been through to protect them. When they got to Gaius's chambers, Merlin pushed between Arthur and Gaius.

Gwaine was laying on the table, beaten, bruised, and bleeding. His forehead was tightened in obvious pain. Merlin placed two fingers on Gwaine's wrist. There was hardly a pulse.

"Can you do anything?" Arthur demanded.

"I'm afraid  _ I _ cannot, sire." Gaius said.

"But I can." Merlin put a hand on Gwaine's forehead. " _ Gestathole _ ." 

Nothing happened.

"Merlin?" Arthur started.

Merlin ignored him. " _ Thurhhwindle _ ."

The wounds still did not disappear. 

"Merlin..."

"I can do it." Merlin snapped. He took a deep breath and placed both hands on Gwaine. "_Þurhhæle_ _dolgbenn_."

Slowly, the marks on Gwaine's face started to mend and fade. His brow relaxed and he seemed to be resting peacefully. Merlin let out a delirious laugh. He turned to Arthur ready to say something smart, but stopped.

Arthur was staring at Merlin with something like awe. "You saved him."

Merlin grew uncomfortable all of the sudden. For years he'd wanted nothing more than to be appreciated for his talents, but it felt unreal to be doing magic in front of Arthur. 

"He'll need some water." Merlin hurried out the door, leaving a rather stunned Arthur behind. 

With the door shut against his back, Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. This would take some getting used to. He was about to leave for the well when he heard Arthur speak.

"Gaius. You told me in the woods that Merlin is the most powerful sorcerer alive. Just how powerful is he?"

"My Lord, I cannot truthfully answer that. He grows stronger every day, though he may not realize it."

Silence.

"He is still Merlin, Arthur. You must remember that."

"I know," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin stood outside the door, caught completely off guard. What did that even mean?

He shook his head. Right now Gwaine needed him, he could puzzle out Arthur later.

Merlin was on his way back with water when Percival intercepted him. He looked exhausted, like he could barely keep his head up. Merlin braced himself for Percival's bone splintering pat on the back, staggering a bit despite his efforts.

"It's good to see you, Merlin." He frowned. "Have you seen Gwaine yet?"

"This water is for him," Merlin lifted the bucket. He saw the worry etched in the knight's face and smiled. "Percival, Gwaine will live."

His face instantly lightened. "I knew Gaius could save him!" 

"He is the best," Merlin sighed. "Come around in a few hours, he should be awake by then."

"Thanks, Merlin." Percival took off down the hall, his head held high once more.

Merlin got back to Gaius's chambers to find that Arthur had left. He brought the bucket to Gwaine's side. He couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if he hadn't been here for Gwaine. They would've lost another knight, another friend, to Morgana's magic, just like Lancelot and Elyan. They were losses Arthur and the knights felt every day. Would they be able to easily accept Merlin's magic when they had lost so much?

"With that look on your face, one would think you  _ hadn't _ just saved him." Gaius observed.

Merlin tried to smile. Evidently it wasn't enough to convince Gaius.

"What's the matter, Merlin?"

"Arthur said he didn't want me to have to hide my magic anymore."

"Well that hardly seems a reason to be frowning this much."

"I'm not sure that he means it."

"Merlin--"

"Well I know that he means it, I'm just not sure if he can go through with it. Uther never accepted magic and neither did Arthur." Now that he had started talking, Merlin couldn't stop himself. "They were plagued by Morgana and look at all the damage she did! We've lost so much to her magic, do you really believe anything can change how they feel?"

Gaius was silent for a moment. "Yes, I do."

He laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You can, Merlin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't fault me for bringing Gwaine back, I couldn't let poor Percival go through that. Also me. I was very upset. So Gwaine is here to make me happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Sand_Cat, the first person to leave me a nice comment!

Almost exactly two hours later, Percival burst into Gaius's chambers with Arthur and Leon in tow. Gwaine had regained consciousness a few minutes before. Merlin sat next to him, trying to get him to drink some water.

Gwaine grinned at the knights. "Fellas, can one of you tell Merlin here that mead is better than water when it comes to healing? He doesn't seem to believe me."

Leon and Percival laughed.

"You never change, do you Gwaine?" Arthur clasped his arm.

"Arthur," Gwaine greeted. "Seems I'm not the only one to return from the dead. Merlin told me he had to save your sorry ass again!"

"Oh did he now?" Arthur scowled at Merlin.

Merlin said nothing, still thinking about what Arthur had said when he thought Merlin wasn't listening.

Leon and Percival sat with Gwaine, pushing each other and joking as they usually did.

"Merlin," Arthur gestured for him to come closer, away from the knights.

Merlin got up and walked to him "Yes, my lord?"

"What's the matter with you? You look like a kicked puppy."

"Nothing, sire." Merlin shook his head.

"Bollocks. You're clearly bothered by something."

Merlin glanced at the knights, then at Gaius who was observing everything from a safe distance. "I just..."

"You overheard me, didn't you?" Arthur deadpanned. 

"What?" Merlin stuttered. "No I wasn't listening. When?"

"There's the Merlin I know," Arthur smirked.

"Fine. I did hear you. And I'm not sure I believe you when you said you wanted me to be who I really am."

"Is that the problem?" Arthur looked at Merlin. 

Merlin nodded slowly. 

"Right then, I know how to fix it." He clapped his hands together, gaining the attention of the knights. "Who wants to hear how Merlin, how did you put it, Gwaine? Or right, how Merlin saved my sorry ass again?"

Leon and Percival looked taken aback by Arthur's sudden outburst. Gwaine, however, took it in stride. He rapped his cup against the table. "Let's hear it then! I'm always in the mood for a good story."

He kicked his feet up on the table and took a long drink of water.

"Merlin has magic."

Gwaine spit out his water and Percival's jaw dropped.

Leon laughed. "Right, and I'm queen of Camelot."

Merlin stood absolutely frozen.

"No really," Arthur assured. "I was good as dead, just like Gwaine was. Percival, you saw him. You were convinced Gwaine would be trashing taverns in heaven by dawn."

"Arthur, come on. That's not funny." Percival said.

"It's true all the same. Merlin healed me, he healed Gwaine, and he's the sorcerer that stopped the fighting at Camlann."

"Merlin?" Gwaine stood up. "Is this true?"

"Come off it, Gwaine," Percival frowned. "Of course it isn't true. Merlin is...

_ Merlin _ ."

"No..." Merlin finally found his voice. "It's true."

"What?" Sir Leon's hand dropped to his sword belt.

"You have magic?" Percival stood up, nearly tripping over his chair.

"I was born with magic," Merlin said quietly.

Gwaine took a step closer to Merlin. Merlin stumbled back, but Arthur placed a hand at his back to stop him.

Gwaine now stood in front of him. Merlin couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye, terrified of what he'd see there. Anger? Betrayal? Gwaine raised his arms. Arthur went to move in front of Merlin, but stopped short when Gwaine enveloped him in a hug.

"You saved my life." He held Merlin out at arms length.

"Y-you're not mad?"

"Oh I'm furious, all right. How come you didn't tell me sooner? We're friends aren't we?"

"But it's outlawed..."

"Nonsense, when have I ever cared about the law?"

"Said the knight of Camelot," Arthur shook his head.

"Percy, Leon." Gwaine yanked Merlin around to face them. "We don't think any less of Merlin, do we?"

Percival still looked half convinced this was all some joke.

Leon glanced at Arthur. "What about the law, Arthur?"

"The law will have to change."

"I don't think that's wise, my lord." Leon replied. "What's to stop people from using magic as Morgana did? Are you willing to risk the peace your father built to protect Merlin?"

"Leon," Gwaine hissed.

"No, no," Arthur held his hand up to silence Gwaine. "He has the right to express his thoughts."

Arthur approached Sir Leon. "You have been a knight of Camelot longer than I have, Leon. You have lived through the same things I have. Tell me, just what kind of peace did my father build? Nimueh's attacks. Morgause's army of immortal soldiers. Morgana's betrayal. What did the law ever do to stop them? Evil magic will always be practiced and we will always have to fight against it, but have you forgotten that magic has been used to save your own life?"

"Sire--"

"You wouldn't be here today if it weren't for the druids. I sure as hell wouldn't be here either if it weren't for Merlin."

Merlin felt something well up in his chest, making it hard to breathe.

"You cannot stand here and tell me that all magic is evil." Arthur pointed at Merlin. "That Merlin should be executed for saving Camelot more times than any of us know."

Percival followed the conversation between Leon and Arthur with his mouth hanging open.

"You know he doesn't," Sir Leon hung his head. "I'm sorry Merlin, I meant no offense. But how do we allow magic in Camelot again so soon after Morgana? The people are still terrified."

"What if the people were to meet the sorcerer who saved their king?" Arthur turned to Merlin with a smug look on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was unbelievably fun to write. Screw conversations between Arthur and Merlin, Gwaine is so much more enjoyable. He'll be popping up a lot more in the future. Also, I know that Gwaine has just been through torture by magic and has expressed dislike of it throughout the show, but I am 100% sure that if he knew Merlin had magic he would be nothing but accepting of him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin decides it's time to show Arthur the sorcerer who took out the saxons at Camlann. This goes about as well as you'd think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't like the beginning of this chapter but I've worked and reworked it until the words lost their meaning and this is just how it's gonna have to be. Sorry in advance for the clumsy writing.

"Arthur, slow down," Merlin pleaded.

Arthur ignored him and continued his fast pace through the corridor to the great hall.

"What ever happened to this being a delicate situation?" Merlin tried again.

"Oh, you know me, Merlin. I've never been one for subtlety."

"Arthur, this is serious." Merlin grabbed Arthur's arm.

Arthur finally stopped. "I don't get it, Merlin. You want this, don't you?"

"Yes. Of course I do but what you're planning? Announcing to all of Camelot that I'm a sorcerer?"

"The knights accepted you." Arthur shrugged.

"That's different. They know me. To everyone else I'm a nobody. Just a servant. If you tell the people I'm a sorcerer and they don't like that you change the law..."

"Then what would you have me do?" Arthur relented. "I'm open to suggestions."

Merlin tugged at the end of his shirt. "Well, there is one way..."

Arthur groaned. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this."

...

Arthur sat at the edge of his bed, observing Merlin and Gaius having an argument in hushed voices. Merlin was getting a lot of disapproving looks from Gaius, which Arthur found amusing.

"I am right here, you know," Arthur sighed after a while. "Can we get whatever this is over with already? I do have a kingdom to run."

They stopped arguing. Gaius glared at Merlin one last time, but Merlin conveniently looked away.

"The plan is still the same, just with one small change," Merlin explained. "You will introduce the people to the sorcerer who stopped the fighting at Camlann."

"Right, but that was you."

"Not exactly." Merlin wrung his hands.

Arthur just stared at Merlin. "I don't get it."

"Just...don't be upset."

"Upset? Why would I be upset?"

Merlin took a deep breath. " _ Mihte dagan, bebiedaþ me. Adeadaþ þisne gast min freondum ond min feondum. _ "

Arthur watched as Merlin slowly began to change. His face became drawn and wrinkled. His hair grew and turned white. His eyes narrowed and gained a certain tiredness. The whole transformation took no more than a second. Merlin was an old man. And not just any old man.

"It was you?" Arthur shouted.

"Yes," Merlin croaked.

Arthur wanted to look away, but couldn't. He knew the man before him as the sorcerer Dragoon, not Merlin. Of course he had seen the old wizard summon lightning and strike down the saxons at Camlann, and Merlin had told Arthur that he had stopped the fighting, but Arthur hadn’t put two and two together until now. Suddenly another thought struck him. "You were the sorcerer I asked to heal my father...."

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Merlin..."

"I tried my best to heal him," Merlin winced. "I wasn't strong enough."

"You weren't--" Arthur buried his face in his hands. "Merlin this...this is too much."

" _ Edniwe min geoguð _ ." With a flash of his eyes, Merlin was young again. His eyes still looked tired, however.

"My lord," Gaius stepped in, "Merlin has always tried his best to help you, but sometimes it's complicated. He couldn't very well have gone up to Uther and healed him looking like himself. He would've been executed."

Arthur dropped his hands. "I guess that makes sense." He glanced at Merlin. "As much sense as it can, anyway."

He paced the length of the room. He took a deep breath. "Okay. We can try it your way. Tomorrow at noon I'll gather the townspeople and make the announcement. Tonight I'll have to convince the council."

"Good luck, Sire." Gaius bowed and left.

Merlin went to follow him, but stopped at the door. "I really did try, Arthur."

Arthur glanced up at Merlin. "I know."

Merlin smiled, the light coming back into his eyes. He nodded and left.

Arthur sighed to himself. "This is all insane."

He sat down at his desk and started to prepare for what would probably be the worst council meeting of his life.

...

Merlin spent the rest of the day carrying out his servant duties. He polished Arthur's armor and repaired the battletorn chainmail. He scrubbed Arthur's boots until the leather gleamed. And, finally, he went to muck out the stables. Usually he would've complained about this task, but he welcomed the time to think. Merlin went into the stables, grabbing a pitchfork from the wall. The horses nickered and snorted when he walked in.

"Yes, it's been a while, I know," Merlin muttered. It seemed like it had been years since he last stepped foot in these stables. So much was changing, it was kind of nice to return to his quiet routine of chores.

"You talk to the horses?"

Merlin nearly jumped out of his skin. He wheeled around, brandishing the pitchfork in front of him.

Gwaine was standing just inside the doorway. "Woah there, Merlin. You did such a good job healing me, don't want to undo all that work."

Merlin sighed in relief and dropped the tool. "Gwaine, you scared me. Why aren't you still in Gaius's chambers? You should be resting."

"Well you ran off after Arthur and then didn't come back when Gaius did. I thought I might find you here." Gwaine gestured to the piles of horse dung. "Arthur still has you mucking out the stables after everything?"

"He didn't ask me to, actually."

"Then why are you here?"

Merlin frowned. "It's my job. Even if he didn't tell me to do it."

"But why? You're some all powerful wizard, aren't you? Why still take care of the horses?"

"I like being his servant, believe it or not." Merlin shrugged.

"I'll believe it not. No glory in scooping horse dung. I'll stick to being a knight."

Merlin smiled and set to work. After a few scoops he noticed Gwaine was still there. Merlin shifted from foot to foot before gathering the courage to ask Gwaine the question on his mind.

"Are you really fine with me being a sorcerer?"

"Of course." He said it immediately, without the slightest doubt.

Merlin still couldn’t believe it. Not after everything Gwaine had so recently been through. "But Morgana--"

"Merlin you are nothing like that witch," Gwaine's voice hardened. "You've seen me at my worst and accepted me. Why should I not do the same for you?"

Merlin grinned. "Thanks Gwaine."

Gwaine clapped Merlin on the back. "Well these stables smell worse than my socks. I'm going to go find Percival. He won't stop asking if I'm okay, the big fool."

Gwaine left, leaving Merlin alone again. Merlin laughed to himself. He almost couldn't believe it. First Arthur and now Gwaine, his two closest friends knew who he really was and accepted him.

Then he found himself bitterly wondering when his luck would run out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll never forget the episode where Agravaine frames Gaius as a sorcerer and Gwaine goes to comfort Merlin and then drops literally everything to help him. Gwaine is too pure.


	6. The Two Speeches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin each have to do their part to convince the people of Camelot that sorcery isn't all that bad after all. Good luck, fellas.

Arthur read over the speech he’d prepared for the council meeting, feeling like his luck had run out. Up until now the people of Camelot somehow thought he was a good king, but after he made this particular decree, their esteem would not hold.

He groaned and tossed the scroll aside. Give him some bandits to fight, hell, he’d have gladly taken on Morgana’s army again if it meant sparing him of all this bureaucratic nonsense.

Gwen observed his distress from her seat near the fire. She smiled and walked over. “I find myself wondering what you could be working on that causes this much excitement.”

She reached for the scroll. Arthur was too slow to stop her. She read the first few lines and Arthur silently cursed himself. He hadn’t had the time to tell her about Merlin. He had wanted them all together when she found out. He grimaced and waited for her reaction.

“So you know.” Gwen replaced the scroll as Arthur gaped at her. “You never were good with words. I’d get Merlin to rewrite that for you.”

“You knew?” Arthur gasped. “How did you know? Did he tell you as well?”

“Please, I’m not as oblivious as you are, Arthur. I figured it out when you and Merlin didn’t return from Camlann. Gaius really is a terrible liar.”

“You are taking it remarkably well.” Arthur admitted. “I was absolutely furious when he told me.”

Arthur didn’t say that anger hadn’t been his first reaction. That had been fear. He feared the power Merlin had, feared the things he could do, and feared the fact that he had been able to keep it a secret. But Arthur couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone, not even Gwen. He remembered that instinctual fear now and felt ashamed. He knew Merlin would never do anything to hurt him, but the memory of that fear stayed lodged in the back of his mind.

“How could I be mad at him?” Guinevere sighed, pulling Arthur from his thoughts. “I found myself thinking back to every impossible situation I’ve gotten out of, every hopeless battle you’ve gone off to fight only to return unharmed, and I can’t help but wonder if it was all because of Merlin.”

Arthur sat in silence, thinking back to all of his perilous adventures. At first Arthur had thought Merlin was strange when he insisted on coming along on every patrol and mission, and when he followed him out to face the dragon Arthur  _ knew _ Merlin was insane, but he had accepted his help. Even when he found himself wondering what help Merlin could possibly give, and if it would be better for him to just stay safe in the castle.

Now with Gwen’s prompting, he saw these events in a different light. Merlin had been protecting him all this time. He wasn’t surprised, not really. Merlin had saved him from a sorceress nearly his first day in Camelot, after all. It was the reason his father had made Merlin his servant. He was stubborn and unbelievably determined and Arthur owed him his life.

Arthur grabbed the scroll with renewed vigor. He would repay Merlin, starting with this repeal of the ban on magic. He glanced up at Gwen. “Would you mind helping me?”

She smiled softly and sat down next to him. “Of course.”

...

With Gwen’s help, it didn’t take long to draft the speech. Arthur was reading it for the fifth time, attempting to commit it to memory while Merlin got him dressed for the meeting. He secured the last clasp and stepped back to survey his work. He noticed Arthur’s cloak was a little uneven and moved to fix it. Arthur shifted his feet, making the task more difficult than it should’ve been.

“Arthur, will you just stand still?” Merlin exclaimed.

Arthur glared at him. “This is going to go horribly anyway, you might as well leave it.”

Merlin snorted, righting the fabric anyway. “It won’t be that bad.”

“Right. I don’t suppose you can look into the future and tell me that for sure?”

“Believe me, the last thing you want is to know your future,” Merlin frowned.

“Do I even want to know what that means?” Arthur waved his hand dismissively when Merlin opened his mouth to answer. “No. I don’t. I’ve got enough to be nervous about already.”

“Arthur, really. You’re going to do fine. I’ll be right behind you the whole time.”

“And that’s supposed to reassure me?” Arthur jibed.

“Well if the council decides to stage a mutiny right there I can use magic to save you.”

Arthur paled. “You don’t think that will happen, do you?”

“It was a joke,” Merlin rolled his eyes.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, you have a terrible sense of humor.”

“It allows me to put up with you,” Merlin retorted. He noticed Arthur fumbling with his sword belt in his nervousness and sighed. “C’mon, you’ll be fine. We’ve faced much worse than a few old guys.”

“I depend on those  _ old guys _ for their support. Without the noble families, Camelot would be nothing. This has to start with their approval.”

“And you will get it, I promise you that.” Merlin glanced outside at the setting sun. “It’s time.”

Merlin followed Arthur down to the council room. They stopped in surprise at the great doors. Leon, Gwaine, and Percival were standing in front of them. Their faces were set in determination.

“What’s all this about, then?” Arthur asked.

Percival stepped forward. “We just wanted to say...whatever happens in there, you will have the full support of the knights.”

Arthur swallowed. “Thank you all. Your loyalty will not be forgotten.”

Arthur nodded to the two guards on either side of the doors. They opened them and Arthur entered the hall with his knights and Merlin flanking him. The councilmen, including Gaius and Gwen, were already seated at the round table. Arthur and the knights took their seats while Merlin stood off to the side. 

Merlin caught Gaius’s eye and gave an anxious smile. Despite all of his reassurances to Arthur, he was just as nervous as his king.

After all formalities were observed, Arthur squared his shoulders and began to speak. “I have received all of your reports from Camlann, but you have yet to receive mine. During this battle, Morgana and Mordred, former knight of Camelot, conspired against me. With such magic on their side, we would have surely lost many more knights to them. However, we did not enter that battle alone. A citizen of Camelot fought with us. The only difference was that he was a sorcerer.”

The councilmen muttered, Merlin heard one of them already talking about how to apprehend the sorcerer.

Arthur cleared his throat, silencing them. “This sorcerer used his magic to counteract Morgana’s. He destroyed her army in seconds and saved countless lives, including my own. Mordred met me on the battlefield with a sword enchanted to kill me. He very nearly succeeded. I was struck with this sword, a surely fatal wound, but the same sorcerer found me and used his magic to heal me.”

There were more whispers from the council. Most of them were wary. Arthur paused, but Gwen squeezed his hand and he continued. “I owe this sorcerer my life, but when I asked him to name any reward, he asked only that I stop the persecution of his kind.”

Whispers weren’t going to cut it this time. The councilmen erupted in clear outrage. The knights all instinctively reached for their swords as the atmosphere turned sour.

“ _ His kind? _ ” One of them shouted. “It is only because of his kind that this situation even arose!”

“He was probably in league with the witch Morgana.”

“He is manipulating you, sire,” another reasoned, “surely you see this.”

“What if he’s been enchanted!” 

Merlin watched it all with growing dismay. He hadn’t expected this to be easy, but this wasn’t going well at all.

Arthur slammed his hands on the table and stood up. “Enough!” 

They quieted instantly. Arthur could be very intimidating when he chose to be.

“You all have been so consumed by fear. I was too, as was my father.” Arthur hesitated.

Merlin had glanced at the script Arthur had written. He didn’t have the whole thing memorized, but he had glimpsed enough to know Arthur was going way off script.

Arthur seemed to gather his thoughts. “For a long time we had every reason to fear magic. We even actively looked for more reasons to continue and spread this fear. But now we have a reason to leave that fear and hatred behind. You all have been with me through every step I’ve taken to unite this land. You know I want peace and prosperity above all, and it is my sincerest belief that that peace includes people who practice magic for good. Do not misunderstand me, I do not wish to have unregulated magic unleashed in the kingdom. We will have to draft new laws to ensure evil sorcerers like Morgana, Morguase, and Nimueh never get the chance to turn against us.”

The councilmen glanced at one another, but Gaius stood before any of them could speak.

“Gaius,” Arthur acknowledged him.

“My lord, I myself have seen first hand the pain sorcery can bring,” a few others muttered consent, “but I have also seen the good it can do. I support your decision.”

Arthur nodded his thanks.

Geoffrey of Monmouth stood next to Gaius. Merlin waited anxiously for him to speak. He was sure that the old man didn’t like him very much. “I have kept record of every person executed, every man woman and child killed in this war against sorcery. The list is too long. I give you my support as well.”

Arthur seemed at a loss for words. He glanced at Merlin briefly, and in that moment Merlin was sure he saw guilt on Arthur’s face. He was probably thinking about the names that he had added to that list. Merlin wanted nothing more than to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but of course he couldn’t in front of everyone. He settled for a small smile instead.

“Your support means more to me than I can say. Tomorrow I plan to bring this sorcerer before the people of Camelot in order to thank him and announce the repeal of the ban on magic. To those of you who do not agree with me, I understand. But I hope that in time we will all come to see that this decree is for all of our best interests.”

Arthur stood pushed back his chair and the knights followed suit. In unison they chanted, “Long live the king!”

After a moment the councilmen all took up the call. Arthur bowed his head to them and left the chamber. Merlin hurried after him. Once the room was far behind them, Arthur let his shoulder drop. “That went about as well as I figured it would. I hadn’t meant to bring up my father like that.”

Merlin wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He certainly did not hold Uther in strong regard, and for good reason. Arthur was already ten times the king Uther had been. But Merlin knew Arthur didn’t share his dislike of Uther. In some ways he felt he was letting his father down. It was all nonsense in Merlin’s opinion.

“You did well, sire.” Merlin said.

“Well, at least there wasn’t a mutiny.” Arthur scoffed. He turned to Merlin. “You’re up next, you know.”

Merlin gave another small smile. “I’ll have to write a speech for myself for once.”

“Keep this in mind whenever I’m complaining about the next speech I have to give. It’ll be a good lesson in humility.”

“Like you even understand that word.”

“Hmm, maybe I should stick to simpler words then. Like clotpole.”

“I keep telling you, that’s  _ my _ word!” 

Arthur laughed and hit Merlin on the shoulder. Merlin took it, he had accepted long ago that those punches were how Arthur showed affection. Grinning, he thought that even though things were changing, he was happy some things would remain the same.

…

Merlin rubbed the small of his back. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to all the joint pain that came along with the aging spell. Arthur just wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to seeing Merlin so  _ old. _ Hopefully this wouldn’t take long so Merlin could return to normal.

Merlin and Arthur stood outside the doors to the balcony where, so many years ago, Merlin had witnessed Uther execute a warlock. That had been his first experience in Camelot. And yet despite that horrible first impression, he chose to stay and find himself with Gaius’s help. Poor past Merlin had no idea how quickly things would escalate.

Still, it was nice to know that on that very spot where Uther has watched so many sorcerers die, Arthur and Merlin would lift the ban on magic. Poetic justice. But he was far too nervous to appreciate it. In fact, he wasn’t altogether sure he wouldn’t die of a heart attack on the spot.

Arthur saw his pale face and clapped him on the shoulder. The impact was a little more forceful than he had intended and Merlin staggered. “Don’t sweat it. I did fine, so you’ll do fine.”

But Merlin could hear the murmur of the crowd even through the stone walls of the castle. There must be hundreds and hundreds of people gathered in the square below. That thought alone was enough to make Merlin feel a little green.

“That’s our cue,” Arthur said as the sound of bugles cut through the noise and silenced the crowd. “You ready?”

“No,” Merlin croaked. “But at least if I die of fright no one will know it was me.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Arthur’s grimace quickly turned into his crowd-pleasing smile as he stepped out to face his people.

Merlin hung back, waiting for the part where Arthur would introduce him. He tried to listen to Arthur, he really did, but it was hard to hear him over the sound of his blood roaring in his ears. Only when Arthur glanced back and gestured him over aggressively did Merlin realize he had missed his mark.

Merlin forced his feet to move. The crowd below him looked just as uneasy as he did, and somehow that helped. The noise in his head cleared and he was left instead in deafening silence. 

When he continued to simply stare at the people below him. Arthur poked Merlin in the back. Merlin glared at him under his wrinkled brow, but it was just the jolt he needed. He turned back to the crowd. This was it. It was up to him to convince these people there was nothing to fear.

“I know the suspicion you all must be feeling right now,” he started, making sure his voice carried clearly. “All your lives you have stood in this very square and watched people be executed for using magic. Maybe they were all strangers to you, but I am sure some of you witnessed neighbors killed here, maybe even friends. I assure you there are magic users in this crowd today. But we are not to be feared. We are, largely, harmless; yet I have been told that I am not to be trusted because others of  _ my kind _ were evil, like Morgana. But Morgana was not one of my kind. She was a detestable creature who only felt fear and hatred. These emotions turned her magic sour. We are not all so negatively influenced.”

The crowd was starting to lose its uneasiness. Merlin noted the change in the atmosphere are marvelled at it. People were listening to him, hearing his words and actually listening!

“I chose to use my magic for Camelot. I saw the fighting at Camlann and knew I had the power to stop it, what other choice could I make? I had to protect Camelot, it is my home. It is a dangerous home for a person like me, but a home nonetheless. I know it is too much to ask for you to forgive the tragedy magic has caused you in the past, but I hope that because of my actions, you will be able to give sorcery a second chance.”

Merlin found himself unable to think of anything else. In the silence that followed his words, he started to panic. What if it wasn’t enough? What if the people rejected magic? What if there was nothing he could do to change their minds?

Then, miraculously, a single person started to clap. Merlin was able to single out the lone person just as a few others joined in with their own applause. It wasn’t much, it was hardly anything, really, but Merlin’s heart soared. Even if a few people came around, it was a start. He could work with this.

Arthur tugged Merlin’s sleeve, leading him back into the castle. “That went surprisingly well, Merlin. I’m impressed. How long did it take you to memorize that?”

“Actually that wasn’t the speech I prepared,” Merlin admitted. “I forgot everything the minute I saw the crowd. I just sort of...said what I was thinking at the moment.”

“Then it’s amazing you had any words to say at all.” Arthur laughed when Merlin glared at him again. “But really, it was good. Now can you please turn back to normal? Your face is creeping me out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was interesting to write, and I'm not entirely sure I did the best job, but maybe the people of Camelot will think it's good enough. Either way, the ball is rolling now and Mordred is still out there somewhere getting his revenge on. I have a lot to plan out, including a new set of laws for magic users....I understand Arthur's preference of killing things instead of making words work.
> 
> Also, I debated on whether or not to include that little bit about Arthur being afraid of Merlin, but then I remembered the look on his face when Merlin told him and how he tried to scoot away and told Merlin to leave, to get away and I just,,,,,He's got some shit to work out for sure and you will see that insecure side of him again for sure but for now our poor king is repressing those emotions.


	7. An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A face from the past appears to issue a dire warning and something even more surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took long enough to write the last chapter so I figured I would give you guys another update right away. Y'know, before I get the chance to sink into writer's block.

The next week was spent in council sessions, tirelessly working on abolishing the old magic laws and drafting new ones. Even when Arthur was finally out of these sessions he didn’t get any rest. Merlin was always waiting in Arthur’s chambers with his dinner and new ideas on how life in Camelot could change to accommodate sorcery.

“What did they decide this time?” Merlin asked as he set down Arthur’s food in front of him.

“Every magic user will have to be taken down in a registry. We’ll have to run a census of the entire city just to figure out who has magic.”

“The people are still wary, Arthur, it’ll take a while before they’re even sure this isn’t some elaborate plot to imprison them.

“C’mon, this is the exact opposite of a witch hunt!” Arthur dropped his head on the table. “But somehow it’s more exhausting.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and poured a glass of wine for Arthur. Arthur picked it up and stared into it for a few moments. Merlin sighed. “Something wrong?”

“I need to get out of the castle. Let’s go hunting.” Arthur stood up, his dinner forgotten.

“Hunting? It’s almost dark out.” Merlin protested.

“Then just a quick ride.” Arthur amended. “Come on, Merlin. The horses aren’t going to saddle themselves.”

“You are impossible.” Merlin glowered.

“That’s just another part of my charm,” Arthur smirked, pulling on his boots.

Merlin shook his head in disbelief, but left for the stables before Arthur could follow up that statement with something even more ridiculous. He met Arthur in the courtyard with their usual mounts, a bay stallion for Arthur and a calmer dark brown mare for Merlin. They rode out across the drawbridge and turned east, in the general direction of the forest of Ascetir. 

“Isn’t this great, Merlin?” Arthur gestured all around him. “Fresh air, the wind in your face, and the beautiful forest.”

“Yes,” Merlin said. “I particularly enjoy the bug bites, blisters, and dangerous wild animals.”

Arthur laughed and spurred his horse on faster, forcing Merlin to abandon all attempts at quips and focus on keeping up with Arthur. They raced through the trees, the landscape a blur around them until Arthur finally relented. He allowed his horse to slow to a walk. Merlin caught up and slowed as well.

“Was that really necessary?” Merlin narrowed his eyes at Arthur. “How you manage to stay in the saddle at that speed I’ll never know.”

“Don’t you remember the lesson Princess Elena gave me the last time she visited? Say what you will about her formal etiquette, but her riding skills are unparalleled.”

They continued at a slow pace, letting the horses recover from the sprint. Merlin was actually enjoying himself for once.

_ Emrys. _

Merlin bolted up in his saddle. His horse came to a stop when it realized Merlin wasn’t paying attention anymore. Where had the voice come from? North? South?

_ Emrys. _

East. Straight ahead. Of course he couldn’t just enjoy a simple night out.

“Merlin?” Arthur had stopped as well. “What’s wrong?”

Merlin urged his horse forward. “Follow me and stay quiet.”

“Is that an order?” Arthur joked, but followed seriously enough when Merlin didn’t respond.

Merlin leaned forward, trying to pinpoint the exact location of the voice. It was a familiar one. They had just entered the forest of Ascetir, so Merlin could guess who it was. Sure enough, they emerged into a small clearing where a single man stood waiting for them. He had wild grey hair and simple green clothes. Merlin immediatly recognized him as the druid chieftain Iseldir.

“Emrys,” he greeted. “It is good to see you once more.”

“Who is this?” Arthur demanded, jumping off his horse. “And why is he calling you Emrys?”

Merlin sighed and dismounted. There was a lot to catch Arthur up on. “This is Iseldir, leader of the druids. Surely you recognize him? You threatened him and stole the Cup of Life from him.”

“Oh, yes...sorry about that,” Arthur said awkwardly.

“King Arthur, if the rumors I hear are true, you have nothing to apologize for.” Iseldir smiled. Merlin didn’t think he’d seen the man wear anything but a frown. “Have you really lifted the ban on magic?”

“I have,” Arthur said. “It seems news spreads fast.”

“Indeed. Your friends and enemies alike have heard the proclamation,” Iseldir replied in his typical cryptic fashion.

“What enemies?” Merlin stepped forward.

“Emrys, you have done great work by defeating Morgana, but fate hasn’t given up on you that easily.”

“It never does,” Merlin groaned.

Iseldir smiled again, but the grin disappeared under his usual grimace. “Arthur was not the only one to leave the battle of Camlann alive. Mordred still walks the earth, planning his revenge on you and Arthur.”

Arthur shook his head. “That’s not possible. He could not have recovered from the wound I dealt him.”

“I do not believe you are one to speak of impossibilities, Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur shrugged. Merlin, however, was taking the news much worse. He was very nearly on the verge of panic. He had thought he was finally free of this worry, but Mordred was still out there. Arthur wasn’t safe. He bitterly recalled the Sidhe’s warning, that he hadn’t done anything to prevent Arthur’s death by saving him.

Arthur noticed Merlin’s reaction and frowned. “Iseldir, I have stopped the persecution of druids and every other type of magic. Surely Mordred no longer has a reason to come after me.”

Iseldir’s frown deepened. “I’m afraid your actions in the present do little to repair the damage of the past. Do you not remember the girl Kara you killed? Or Cerdan, Mordred’s mentor that was executed by Uther? And perhaps you have also forgotten that Morgana was slain by the man standing next to you. Mordred has more than enough motivation to destroy you.”

Merlin looked down at his feet. He wasn’t proud of how things ended with Morgana. Despite every horrible thing she had done, a part of Merlin would always see her as the kind, hopeful person she had once been. Sometimes he laid awake at night wondering if he could have done anything to prevent her descent into evil. 

“You speak as though you know his plans,” Arthur said.

“Mordred was a druid before he was a knight. He was not a member of my tribe, but he had heard of me and my people. We are the largest group of druids. He came to recruit an army.”

“But the druids are peaceful, aren’t they?”

“Mordred himself is a druid. Not all of us have stuck to our traditions. In these dark times some have turned to violence to protect themselves. Mordred is not the only one who has suffered by the hands of a Pendragon. Some believe that you are beyond redemption.”

Arthur’s hand dropped to his sword. “And what do you believe?”

“Don’t be foolish. I would not have come here to warn you about Mordred if I was on his side.”

Merlin gave himself a mental facepalm. Arthur really could be dense sometimes. “Of course not. We appreciate your help.”

Iseldir nodded. “I have not yet given you all of the help I have to offer. In light of Mordred’s clear desire to continue his fight against you, I wish to make a statement on behalf of my people. It is a statement that I think most druids will agree with. I wish to make an alliance with Camelot.”

Arthur was dumbfounded. Even Merlin could only gape at Iseldir. Never in the course of history had the druids been anything but a neutral party, of course allowing for a few extremists. This was an unprecedented display of trust and loyalty.

“I hope this course of action will span the gap of mistrust between you and magic users. A way to hasten the bond you are trying to create. We must build trust quickly if we are to prevent more people from siding with Mordred.”

“Thank you, Iseldir,” was all Arthur could manage to say.

The druid gave a small laugh at the incredulous look on Arthur’s face. He resembled a fish with his mouth hanging open like that. “I will come to Camelot three days hence with a diplomatic envoy. I hope that is enough time for you to prepare?”

“Of course,” Arthur said, recovering his wits. “We will be ready to receive you and your people.”

“Good.” Iseldir turned to leave. “These are troubling times, King Arthur. We all must be ready to meet the challenges that face us.”

Merlin frowned at that. Something about the way Iseldir spoke insinuated that he knew more than he was letting on. The way he said it specifically to Arthur was especially concerning. But the man had already disappeared into the trees on the far side of the clearing. Merlin shook off his unease. Iseldir would be coming to Camelot. He could ask questions then.

“Can you believe it?” Arthur said, almost to himself. “An alliance with the druids.”

“Don’t go and get a big head,” Merlin pleaded. “You really are insufferable when you’re proud of yourself.”

“That’s dangerously close to treason,” Arthur warned. “And what was with that name Iseldir was calling you?”

“Emrys is the name the druids give me in the great prophecies.” 

“Well now who’s in danger of getting a big head?”

Merlin chose to ignore that comment and walked back to his horse. “Let’s get back to the castle before we have to spend a night in the woods.”

“Another order? You really are getting bold, you know that, Merlin?” Arthur shook his head as he swung a leg over his mount.

“It’s just another part of my charm,” Merlin mimicked Arthur.

Arthur raised his eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be me?”

“Oh, sorry, did I not say it with enough stupidity?” Merlin asked innocently.

“Now  _ that _ is definitely treason,” Arthur declared.

They spent the entire ride back to the castle exchanging insults and calling each other ridiculous names. The end result was as it always was: Merlin was given a whole list of chores to complete upon their return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur to Merlin: “Well now who’s in danger of getting a big head?”
> 
> Me writing this at 2:30 am: Don't make a dick joke, don't make a dick joke, don't make a dick joke.


	8. A Rising Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordred gathers his army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so unbelievably sorry about how long this chapter has taken. I wasn't quite happy with it and then stuff happened and this story got put on the back burner, but now I'm back and hopefully you all can expect regular updates! Thanks for reading!

Mordred’s trip to Iseldir’s camp hadn’t gone exactly to plan. He had hoped to find more people like Kara. People who had friends and family killed by Arthur and his father. But Iseldir’s people were unbelievably stubborn. Mordred couldn’t blame them for wanting to stay neutral, however. Camelot was a formidable enemy, afterall. Still, some druids had joined his ranks. Mostly loners, people who’s tribes had been decimated like his own.

Nara and Lydon, two such druids, had just walked up to where Mordred was standing on the ridge overlooking the camp. Nara was young, barely eighteen with short cropped hair that framed her pale face. Lydon was almost the mirror image of Nara, just a foot taller. They were brother and sister. Mordred had traveled with them for a few weeks as a child. They were only too eager to join him now.

“Iseldir and his tribe were our last shot at new recruits,” Nara said. “What will we do now?”

“We’re only two hundred strong. And most of these people are only skilled in healing magic,” Lydon pointed out.

“Don’t worry,” Mordred assured them. “Word of our cause has been spread across the five kingdoms, more will join us everyday.”

Nara and Lydon exchanged a glance.

Mordred tilted his head. “What is it?”

“We have heard whispers--” Nara started.

“Rumors, really,” Lydon interjected. He was silenced by a glare from Nara before she continued.

“We have been told that King Arthur has issued a new proclamation. He has lifted the ban on magic.”

“What?” Mordred frowned. “Why would he do that? He has no reason to-- oh. Of course. He must have found out that Merlin has magic.”

Lydon took an instinctive step back as Mordred’s face contorted in rage. “I thought this might change our plans.”

Mordred didn’t seem to hear him. “Of course Arthur would change the law for  _ Merlin _ . Not when his own sister needed him, not when  _ I _ needed him. This changes absolutely nothing. No matter what mask he shows to the world, Arthur Pendragon is no friend to magic. He does this only for himself. For Merlin.”

“So...we’re still attacking Camelot?” Lydon asked, ignoring Nara as she punched him in the arm.

“Yes. I cannot forgive what Arthur has done, no matter what he tries to do now.”

Aithusa clambered up the rocks to stand beside Mordred. Perhaps she had sensed his anger. Nara and Lydon shied away from the dragon. Its hunched figure brought them unease. Mordred patted her head. Aithusa suddenly straightened her neck, peering into the woods behind them.

Mordred turned, unsheathing the sword at his hip. Nara followed suit, raising a dagger. “Who’s there?”

After a moment of silence, a figure emerged from the trees. She had thin blonde hair and mousy features. Her dress was ragged and torn. “I mean you no harm. I wish to join you.”

“What is your name,” Mordred asked, lowering his weapon.

“I am Sefa, daughter of Ruadan.” She curtseyed.

Lydon inched closer. “Ruadan? The renegade druid? He was a legend.”

Sefa smiled sadly. “My father was a great man. I do not have his talents, but I have his teachings. He told me once that Pendragons were only good for one thing. Death. I was foolish, I believed they were nice...but I was wrong and my naivety got him killed.”

“You are brave to come here, Sefa,” Mordred placed a hand on her shoulder. “I am sure your father would be proud to see you carrying on in his footsteps.”

“He only ever wanted me to be strong,” Sefa set her face in determination. “That is what I will do.”

Mordred nodded. “Lydon, take Sefa down to the supply tent and find her some rations and clean clothes.”

Lydon obeyed, leading Sefa down the ridge to the tents below. Mordred turned to Nara. “See? The enemies the Pendragons have so carelessly made continue to flock to us. We will be able to rid this land of their tyranny soon.”

Nara smiled and twirled her dagger in anticipation. “Not soon enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt very uneasy sending Sefa to Mordred, she just seemed so nice...but everybody has a breaking point and seeing her father murdered must have been so traumatic for her.


	9. A Night to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The druids have come to Camelot, cue the celebration! ......also I did a thing where I wrote some angst soooo....beware.

Iseldir and his two companions looked absurdly out of place gathered in the courtyard. They were all dressed as simply as they always were, observing the castle walls towering around them with no sign of trepidation. Arthur stood on the stairs in full regalia with his knights lined up on either side of him, a stark contrast to the druids he prepared to greet.

A crowd of townspeople watched the druids with a myriad of different expressions. Some grimaced at the newcomers while others peered over shoulders in excitement. Some hung back in fear. Two young children crept as close as they could to stare in simple wonder at Iseldir.

Merlin stood just outside the main castle doors with Gaius. “I can still hardly believe this is happening.”

“I can scarcely believe it myself,” Gaius admitted. “This truly is the start of a new era. You’ve done well, Merlin.”

Merlin smiled with obvious pride. Gaius saw his wide grin and couldn’t help but smile himself.

“Iseldir,” Arthur greeted. “It is my pleasure to welcome you and your people to Camelot as my esteemed guests. I look forward to securing the details of our alliance in the coming days.”

Iseldir bowed. “King Arthur, I accept your welcome graciously. I know there is much bad blood between Camelot and the druids, but I hope to put all of that behind us today. As a token of my trust, I offer you this ring.”

At his words, the druid to Iseldir’s right stepped forward and offered the piece of jewelry.

“It is enchanted to protect the wearer from any malignant spells or curses of any kind.”

Merlin wondered where this particular item had been his whole life. He certainly could have used it a hundred times over. Arthur accepted the ring from the druid and turned it over in his hand. It was a plain iron band with a single black stone that caught the sunlight spectacularly. “It is beautiful, thank you.”

He slipped it over his finger, right next to the royal seal and beckoned Iseldir and his company. “Come, you must have a tour of the castle before we get down to business.”

Merlin followed behind Iseldir and his companions as Arthur showed them around the citadel. He noticed the other druids kept glancing back at him. Merlin tilted his head in confusion.

_ You’re Emrys, aren’t you? _

Merlin gave a warm smile to the druid who spoke to him. He was young with dark hair and a short stature.  _ I am. _

Merlin could feel the boy’s excitement coming off him in waves, almost as if it were a thought projected to him.  _ But you can call me Merlin. What’s your name? _

_ I’m Terrel. _

_ Welcome to Camelot, Terrel. _

They finished off the tour by showing the druids to their rooms. They were all one floor down from Arthur’s chambers.

“Once you're all settled in, I’ll have someone sent down to bring you to the dining hall for the welcome feast.” Arthur said. “If you need anything at all, just ask Merlin here.”

Iseldir nodded his thanks as Arthur turned and walked back down the corridor. Merlin hesitated a moment. Now was his chance to ask Iseldir some questions. He had just opened his mouth when…

“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur called over his shoulder. “There’s a whole feast to prepare for.”

Merlin paused for just another second before he sighed. As funny as it would be, no one wanted Arthur dressing himself for the feast. He hurried to catch up to Arthur. “The things I have to deal with,” he muttered.

“What was that?” Arthur asked. 

“Oh, nothing.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin in disbelief, but said nothing more.

….

Merlin stood off to one side as Arthur gave a toast to the Druids and peace and all sorts of political things, but Merlin couldn't focus on his words. The banquet hall was packed like it never had been before. Not only were all the noblemen present, but commoner families had also been invited to join the festivities. 

The kitchen staff had been flung into overtime in preparation. The head chef Audrey even swallowed her pride and allowed Merlin to help. Merlin of course  _ did not  _ abuse her trust and sneak cakes to the knights. Most definitely not.

But seeing half of Camelot squeezed into the Great Hall made Merlin feel a bit claustrophobic. Despite the overall sense of cheer, Merlin could pick out some disgruntled faces in the crowd. If one of these people decided to voice their dissent, or even worse make an attempt on Arthur's life, there could be a real problem on his hands. Merlin glanced at the knights who were already half drunk even though the feast had only just begun. They wouldn't be a lot of help if things went sour.

So yes, Merlin was a bit on edge.

Arthur's speech ended and the whole hall roared in approval. The servants launched into action, pouring wine, distributing bread and soup, and basically keeping things as tidy as they could. Every one of them looked just as overwhelmed as Merlin did.

Gwen saw the way Merlin's eyes darted across every surface and stood up from her place at Arthur's side. Merlin jumped as she moved next to him.

"Gwen!" Merlin sighed, trying to downplay how startled he had been. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes." She smiled and gestured to the pitcher of wine in Merlin's hands. "You could be too, you know. Arthur would let you join us in a heartbeat."

Merlin shrugged. "It would be strange, wouldn't it? Me sitting down during a feast?"

"Believe me, I know." Gwen smoothed the front of her dress. "I still have to resist the urge to jump up when one of the knights calls for more mead."

Merlin laughed, but Gwen continued. "Really, though, Merlin. Why are you still hiding?"

Merlin's eyes went wide as he realized the implications of her words. "Arthur told you, didn't he?"

"No, no, it was technically Gaius. I suspected when he was sure Arthur would return from Camlann. He really couldn't hide anything when I questioned him directly. The real question is why didn't you tell me sooner? I could've helped you, I could've made sure you weren't so lonely."

Merlin's heart broke a little at her words. He had been so close with Gwen from the very beginning. If there was anyone he would've wanted to confide in (besides Arthur) it would've been her.

"I just didn't want to get you into trouble." 

"Oh, Merlin." Gwen rested a hand against his cheek. "You really need to look out for yourself every once in a while. Now come on, take Arthur around to mingle. Have some fun."

She pried the pitcher out of his hands and pushed him towards Arthur. But before she could force anything else, Terrel stood and raised his hands for attention. The hall gradually quieted. The young druid glanced at Iseldir, who nodded his encouragement.

"Thank you for your words of welcome, King Arthur. Good people of Camelot," he addressed the rest of the crowd, "you all have undoubtedly had some encounter with bad magic, but I want to show you another side of it. Magic can be the cause of beauty and awe, not just fear. So I offer you entertainment!"

He took a deep breath and did what would've been unthinkable just a few weeks before. He muttered a spell. " _ Lǣt sé beónbroþ gelác swá ic hæs." _

All along the table, goblets and tankards were emptied, mead and wine flowing up into the air in a giant writhing river above the heads of the people. Many of the onlookers audibly gasped. The second druid, Merlin thought the boy’s name was Cameron, laughed and stood as well. He said his own incantation and took control of half the drink. They each made their liquid into the shape of warriors equipped with swords. Everyone cheered with excitement as the druids staged a mock fight. 

Merlin smiled and cheered along with everyone else. He was beyond happy, he didn’t think there was a word to capture his joy at seeing magic so openly celebrated in the heart of Camelot. Terrel saw his smile and made a small gesture.

_ Come on, Emrys, join us! _

Merlin’s smile faltered. It’s not that he didn’t want to, but something held him back.  _ I can’t. _

Terrel hesitated and his fluid knight was struck through the chest. With his concentration gone, the wine started to fall. The other druid quickly assumed control of it and guided it safely back down into the right cups.

Unaware of what had just happened, Arthur stood up and clapped wildly. “That was some entertainment indeed! This has already been a night to remember.”

Arthur noticed Merlin standing beside him. “Wasn’t that something, Merlin? It was a bit like that trick you did with the embers.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Merlin grinned at Arthur’s amusement. Gwen gave a rather pointed cough and glared at Merlin. “Er, right. Arthur, do you want to go around and... _ mingle?" _

“Sure, why not. It’s been ages since we’ve had a good party.” Arthur grabbed Merlin by the arm and they entered the throng of people. Merlin soon felt like he’d been boxed on the ears. Everyone was so loud and close and unnecessarily obnoxious. Knights came and pounded him on the shoulders, noblemen hollered mead-slurred greetings inches from his face, and commonfolk jumped at the chance to speak with their king.

All the attention was on Arthur, but then a skinny young man ran up to Merlin. Arthur barely had time to register what was happening when the boy hugged Merlin. His surprise deepened when Merlin returned the embrace.

"Merlin, you fool, you did it! You said you'd change things and you actually did it!"

"Gilli!" Merlin exclaimed, breaking the hug. "It's been ages. You should have come to visit."

"It never seemed appropriate until now. I'm still a bit ashamed about how things ended."

"It's forgotten, you made the right choice in the end."

"Right, who are you and why do you look…" Arthur gave Gilli a hard glance, "familiar?"

"King Arthur," Gilli gawked and stumbled into a bow. "I doubt you'd remember me, I lost to your father in the last round of the no-rules tourney a few years back."

Arthur snapped his fingers as the memory clicked. "That's right, but how do you know Merlin?"

Gilli looked away, guilt spreading across his round face. Merlin shifted on his feet. "Gilli was using magic to advance in the tournament. I convinced him to stop."

Arthur frowned, trying to remember exactly how that event had gone and how Gilli had performed, but honestly he had been far too concerned about facing Uther in combat to be paying any attention to anything else. Before he could ask anymore questions, Gilli said a hasty goodbye to Merlin and melted back into the crowd.

Still, his appearance piqued Arthur's curiosity. "How many more sorcerers do you know?"

"Not many," Merlin admitted. "All the others are…"

"What?"

Merlin frowned. "Dead."

Arthur mentally face palmed. Of course. How could he be so stupid? How many of Merlin's friends had he unwittingly sent to their deaths? He was afraid to ask, but he needed to know. "How many?"

"Arthur don't do that to yourself," Merlin shook his head.

"Merlin, please."

Merlin continued to refuse. "No. This is pointless. I don't-"

"Merlin." This time Arthur left no doubt that this was an order.

"I…" Merlin sighed. He led Arthur through a small door the servants used. Merlin knew Arthur would ask this question eventually, but did it have to be during a party? "Most of the sorcerers I met were evil. Lady Sophia and her father, Muirden, Tauren...but there were some friends, too. Finna, the druid. Alator of the Catha. And…"

Merlin seemed unwilling or unable to continue. His breath hitched for a second. "And Freya."

Arthur flinched at the raw emotion in Merlin's voice. The warlock turned away when he said the name. Arthur didn't want to see the pain that was surely in his eyes. "Who was she?"

Merlin finally looked at Arthur. There were tears gathering in his eyes, making their blue color shine. "Please don't. I don't want you to blame yourself."

Arthur jerked as if slapped. Whatever had happened to Freya, it was  _ his _ fault. Arthur stared at Merlin's face, taking in the turmoil and hating himself for being the cause. Merlin had obviously cared for this Freya and he didn't even know who she was. "What happened?"

Merin swiped the tears from his eyes before they could fall. "She was a druid. A bounty hunter had her in a cage. While he wasn't looking I freed her. I hid her for several days but...she was cursed. At night she would turn into a creature and kill people. She didn't want to, she was a nice person all she wanted was to be free to be herself-"

Arthur held up his hand, cutting off Merlin's desperate rambling as emotion welled up in his chest. He remembered now. He remembered a girl who changed into a winged panther. He remembered driving his sword into its chest. 

But that wasn't all. He remembered Merlin's sadness the next day. He'd thought Merlin was upset because of how rude Arthur had been to him the day before but...he had been grieving. Arthur had killed his friend, maybe more judging by the depth of sadness Merlin was showing, and Merlin had to go right back to work as if nothing was wrong. As if Arthur hadn't just murdered the girl he tried to save. 

"I wish I…" Arthur stumbled over his words.  _ I wish I knew _ . That didn't seem like enough. He tried to swallow only to find he couldn't. "I…I'm sorry, Merlin. So, so sorry."

Arthur backed away. He needed to leave. He needed to be anywhere he couldn't see the pain in his friend's face. But before he could get too far, Merlin snagged his arm.

"Arthur, I don't blame you."

"You should. You should do more than blame me, you should hate me."

Merlin's eyes hardened. "Arthur she was killing people. You had no choice. I never held you accountable, not for one second, and neither should you."

Arthur shook his head. He felt guilt weighing down on him, threatening to crush him. Merlin saw it plainly on his face. This is exactly what he had been trying to avoid. He didn't blame Arthur and despite the tears that had threatened to fall, he really had come to terms with Freya's death. But Arthur would never be able to forgive himself. How could Merlin make him understand that Merlin really didn't hold Freya's death against him?

Words didn't seem to be working. He could see Arthur spiralling deeper into his self hatred, and Merlin couldn't stand it. He stepped closer, but Arthur continued to back away. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated and shouldered his way back into the great hall.

"Arthur!" Merlin called after him, but he soon lost track of Arthur's red-cloaked figure in the blur of unfamiliar faces. He looked around for any sign of him and caught a glimpse of red fabric several feet away.

Merlin pushed through the crowd and grabbed Arthur's shoulder only to find out it was Gwaine. A very, very drunk Gwaine.

"Merlin!" He shouted, probably unaware that he was shouting, "have a drink with me!"

Gwaine shoved a cup of ale into Merlin's hands. "Gwaine, I can't. I'm trying to find Arthur."

Merlin craned his neck, trying to see over the countless heads moving and shoving around the hall.

"C'mon, what d'you need the Princess for?" Gwaine shrugged and downed his own glass.

"Gwaine, this is serious."

"So am I," Gwaine burped, then took on an air of thoughtfulness. "Tell ya what. You drink that ale, and I'll help you look for Arthur myself."

Merlin looked at the cup in his hands. Since it had previously been in Gwaine's, it was full to the brim with deep amber liquid. Still, he thought, two heads are better than one. Even if the other was far from sober.

Gwaine cheered as Merlin shrugged and emptied the cup. Merlin made a face. "Ugh, how do you drink this stuff?"

"Not a fan of the taste?" Gwaine snatched a tankard from a passing servant. "Here, have some water to wash it down.

Merlin swallowed that too, but ended up coughing and sputtering. "That was just more ale!"

Gwaine was lost to gales of laughter. "I can't believe that worked!"

"Alright, you've had your fun, let's find Arthur now." Merlin turned to scan the crowd again, but he could already feel the alcohol flooding his senses. There was a reason Merlin didn't drink, he could hardly handle more than a few sips of mead.

Merlin and Gwaine pushed through the crowd, but then the knight spotted Percival and promptly ditched Merlin. So much for that. Merlin shook his head to clear it. Oh well, Gwaine probably wouldn't have been too much help anyway. Merlin stumbled through the people, sometimes tripping over other's feet and sometimes his own, until he found himself face to face with Terrel.

The druid stared at Merlin in confusion and Merlin's addled mind regurgitated Gwen's earlier question.  _ Why are you still hiding? _ Merlin frowned. He wasn't hiding, he was just...just...what was he doing? He couldn't quite remember past the thudding in his head.

"Why didn't you join me in my performance?" Terrel demanded, drawing Merlin's attention. "Your powers could have put our little show to shame."

Merlin tried his best to think clearly. "You're our guests, I didn't wanna upstage you."

Terrel grimaced at the slur in Merlin's voice. "Are you drunk?"

Merlin hiccuped, then had the decency to look ashamed of himself. "Never accept a challenge from Sir Gwaine. He's been drunk since birth, I'm sure of it."

"How many drinks have you had?" Terrel asked. If he had been in a contest with this Gwaine character it must have been quite a lot.

"Two."

"Two?" Terrel gaped at Merlin.

"Two," Merlin confirmed, holding up two fingers just to clear up any confusion. "I'm tryin' to find Arthur, I think."

Terrel stared at the great Emrys as he swayed on his feet and couldn't help but laugh. He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder to steady him. "Come on, then. Let's go find your king."

Merlin groaned at the movement, but followed Terrel. He plodded along in a haze until he spotted Leon and gestured wildly at him. "Sir Leon!"

The knight made his way over and frowned at Merlin, who was currently holding his aching head. "Is he drunk?"

Terrel nodded. "He mentioned a contest with a knight called Gwaine."

Leon let out a laugh. "Oh Merlin, you should have known better than to approach Gwaine at a party. Especially when you're such a lightweight."

Merlin scrunched up his face in distaste. "That was rude."

Terrel ignored Merlin. "We're looking for King Arthur, have you seen him?"

"Yeah, where is that cabbage head?" Merlin shouted.

Terrel looked on in horror at Merlin's treasonous words, which only made Leon laugh even harder. 

"Last I saw of his royal highness, he was being assaulted by a few red-nosed noblemen over there," Leon pointed the direction and melted back into the crowd.

"Are you sure it's best you talk to King Arthur in your condition?" Terrel asked, thinking about all the other names he might call the king to his face.

"I  _ need _ to speak wit' him." Merlin knit his brows. "The daft fool thinks I'm mad at him...or thinks I  _ should  _ be mad at him, I dunno."

"Very well, then." Terrel turned Merlin to face a group of people slightly removed from the main crowd. "I think I've found him."

Terrel guided Merlin the rest of the way, but somehow Merlin still managed to trip over three different people. "I swear you are the clumsiest sorcerer I've ever met."

Arthur was being cornered by intoxicated noblemen, just as Leon had said. He kept trying to back away, but the men kept pressing him. "Please, I promise we can work out all the details tomorrow. It's still only the reception party, relax and enjoy yourselves."

"But my Lord," one man said, "these druids in the castle…it's dangerous!"

"Not to mention the stink of the common folk," another grimaced.

"Hey, we are all citizens of Camelot," Arthur admonished. "They  _ all _ have a right to be here, even the druids."

Before the situation could escalate any further, Merlin stumbled away from Terrel and in between the noblemen. "Arthur, finally. I've been lookin' all over for you."

Arthur narrowed his eyes at his manservant. "Are you--"

"Drunk?" Terrel finished. "Yes he is. And he's been quite adamant about speaking with you, my Lord."

The noblemen recognized Terrel as a druid and quickly dispersed, grumbling all the while.

Arthur let out a long breath. "Thanks for getting him to me...Terrel, wasn't it?"

"Yes, my Lord. I'll leave you alone now."

_ Thanks, Terrel.  _ Merlin's voice echoed in the druid's head.  _ I owe you one. _

He smiled, then vanished back among the partiers. 

Now relatively alone with Arthur, Merlin realized he still didn't know what to say to him. Arthur was looking over Merlin with concern.

"Exactly how much did you have to drink?"

"Let's not go down that road," Merlin rubbed his temples. "Can we talk?"

"As soon as you're sober," Arthur pulled Merlin out of the great hall. "Let's get you back to your chambers."

Merlin tried his best to keep his head straight, but he kept tripping over every crack in the stone. He also tried to talk to Arthur, but he kept shushing him, which was infuriating.

Finally they arrived at Gaius's chambers. Arthur attempted to enter quietly in case the physician was already asleep, but Merlin ruined it by tripping over the door frame and falling flat on his face.

Gaius stared at him from his seat on the bench. He was holding a glass tube over a flame.

"Sorry to disturb you, Gaius," Arthur said, hauling Merlin to his feet.

"I wish I could say I'm surprised, but this isn't the first time Merlin has entered these rooms like that." Gaius stood and started to peruse the vials on a nearby shelf. "I assume he is drunk."

"No," Merlin said.

"Yes," Arthur said at the same time.

Gaius raised his eyebrow. "Right then." He found the right vial and pressed it into Arthur's hand. "Make sure he drinks all of it before he passes out."

"Thank you, Gaius." Arthur half dragged Merlin up the stairs to his room and sat him down on his bed.

Arthur gave the vial to Merlin and he swallowed the contents and gagged. "Oh, that's worse than the ale."

Arthur smiled and turned to go. Again, Merlin grabbed his arm. "Merlin, we can talk tomorrow, okay?"

"No. Now." Merlin glared at him. "You insisted on asking your stupid pointless questions and now we're gonna talk."

"Fine." Arthur sat down next to Merlin, but kept his eyes down. He was still thinking about Freya and how much pain he'd caused Merlin over all these years. It made Arthur especially upset when he thought about how loyal Merlin was despite it all.

Merlin considered the tone of Arthur's voice and realized nothing he could say was going to convince Arthur that he needn't feel guilty. He let out a noise of exasperation and did the only thing he could think of. He pulled Arthur closer and hugged him. Arthur tensed, but Merlin refused to let him go. He buried his head against Arthur's shoulder. "I forgave you long ago. You've done so many good things, don't ever doubt that you are a good person, you clotpole."

Maybe it was the hug, maybe it was Merlin's words, or maybe it was the simple familiarity of the insult that was really just barely masked affection, but Arthur finally relaxed in Merlin's arms. He brought his arms up to return the hug for a moment before pulling back and clearing his throat rather loudly.

Merlin's cheeks were aflame with embarrassment, and Arthur was sure his were red to match.

"I'm not sure if I can forgive myself yet but…" Arthur gave Merlin a weak smile, "if you can forgive me then that will have to be enough for now."

Merlin returned the smile, then fell over sideways. Arthur started in surprise. Merlin had passed out before his head even hit the pillow. Arthur ran a hand through his hair. Tonight had been too much. It was time he headed back to his own chambers. He thought back on the words he'd said ages ago when the feast had just begun. A night to remember indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who else is still very sad about Freya? Honestly it wouldn't be this upsetting if Colin Morgan wasn't such a good actor! Seriously we never stood a chance.


	10. The Castle of Kings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the party, Merlin has some chores to do. But of course nothing is ever easy for our poor warlock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to update. I was busy moving and then COVID-19 reared its ugly head. You'd think quarantine would give me more time to write but no, I'm still working just as much as usual. Anyway, enjoy!

Merlin swore to himself to never drink again. Ever. Not just because of the headache he woke up with, but because of the nightmare.

He had been standing next to Arthur at a round table gathering. Arthur's quill fell off the table, but Merlin caught it with his magic and levitated it back on the table. Suddenly, everyone around the table started to shout "Sorcerer!"

Merlin tried to protest as they all grabbed him and hauled him from the castle. Magic was legal now! Why were they doing this? But his voice wouldn't work. He desperately looked for Arthur but he was nowhere to be seen.

He continued to struggle as they tied him to a pyre. He couldn't even use his magic to stop them, he was powerless. Merlin finally spotted Arthur standing at the edge of the crowd with Guinevere, but the cold look on his face halted Merlin's struggles.

It was the same look he'd had while wounded in the forest, just finding out that Merlin had lied to him for years. The same mixture of pain and a little bit of fear. The fear hurt worse than the ropes on his straining wrists. Merlin tried to call out to him, to apologize, to beg, but still his voice would not work.

Gwen stepped forward, placing a hand on Merlin's cheek. "Why are you still hiding, Merlin? What are you afraid of?"

Merlin felt a tear slip down his face.  _ This  _ is what he was afraid of. Exactly this.

Arthur stepped forward with a torch and thrust it onto the dry wood, his face full of hatred. It caught immediately, racing up to Merlin's feet. This time his voice worked as he let out a scream.

That was where the dream ended. Merlin started awake, head throbbing and tears on his face. He dressed quickly, wiping away the tears and trying to forget the nightmare. He walked out of his room to find Gaius setting places for breakfast. 

Gaius raised an eyebrow at Merlin as he dropped into his seat. "And how was your night? Before Arthur carried you back here, that is."

Merlin grimaced. "Not too great."

Gaius looked a bit closer at his ward. "Just because of the mead, or is there something else?"

Merlin debated on telling Gaius his dream, but decided against it. It was just a silly nightmare. "Arthur found out about Freya."

Gaius sighed. He had suspected the king would want to have that conversation eventually.

"It's fine, though. I think." Merlin stared into his bowl. "I told Arthur I didn't blame him for anything, and after a bit of convincing, I think I got through his thick skull."

"Hmm. And how is  _ your _ head? I had Arthur give you a tonic last night that should have taken the edge off."

"It'll be fine in a few hours." Merlin drank the rest of his porridge. "Speaking of Arthur, I'm going to be late for work."

"I need some herbs, if you get the time. There's a list on the table."

Merlin set down his bowl, grabbed his jacket and the list, and left for Arthur's chambers. He barged in to find Arthur still asleep. Of course. Merlin crossed the room and yanked the curtains open. A ray of morning sunlight fell on Arthur's face. The king let out a rather unkingly groan and rolled over.

"None of that today, sire," Merlin pulled the blanket off of him. "Today marks the start of the peace talks."

"My first order of business will be renaming them." Arthur slowly sat up. "There's never really much talking at these things. Only ever shouting."

Merlin started to lay out Arthur's breakfast of meat and cheese, remembering his own sad bowl of porridge. As he was pouring the wine Arthur came up behind him.

"Looks wonderful," he said, causing Merlin to jump. Arthur caught the wine pitcher as it fell from the servant's hands. "Woah there, Merlin. You're jumpy today."

Merlin shook his head and took the pitcher back. The last trances of his nightmare wouldn't leave the back of his mind. "Sorry, sire."

Arthur narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything else and sat down to his breakfast.

"Giaus has asked me to collect some herbs for him. You don't mind if I miss the meeting today?"

"Of course you would find a way out of it," Arthur grumbled. "But fine, do what you must and hurry back. I might need you to stop me from strangling someone."

Merlin laughed. "I'm sure you'll manage."

He left Arthur after he was dressed and ready for the drawing of the treaty. He was crossing the courtyard on his way out of the castle when Gwaine surprised him by throwing an arm over Merlin's shoulder.

"Leaving without me?" The knight pouted. "I'm crushed."

"Shouldn't you be attending the meeting with Arthur?" Merlin shrugged off Gwaine's arm.

"The funniest thing happened," Gwaine grinned. "There I was making humble conversation with our king when he told me to go find you."

"Humble conversation?" Merlin scoffed. "You annoyed him until he told you to get lost, is more like it."

"That might be closer to the truth." Gwaine rubbed his hands together in excitement. "So what super dangerous mission are you going on today, O Great Sorcerer?"

"Herb gathering."

Gwaine's shoulders fell. "Damn. Still better than the mess Arthur's in."

They headed south, through the darkling woods towards the forests of Brechfa. Gaius was in need of pennyroyal and feverfew which both conveniently grew in the southern regions of Camelot. Gwaine passed the time by telling stories from his time in exile and begging Merlin to share stories of his own.

"What would I have to tell?" Merlin protested.

"Are you kidding? Now that I know you have magic there are certain times I suspect you used it. For instance, gambling with Arthur at the tavern?"

Merlin grinned. "I might once in a while use magic to free Arthur of some of his gold, but most of the other times are just as inglorious as that, I'm afraid."

"I don't believe it." Gwaine insisted. "You're so dramatic there has to be more."

Merlin feigned offense. "Dramatic? Me? When do I ever get the chance to be dramatic when Arthur is always there to upstage me?"

"Come now, Merlin!" Gwaine knocked Merlin with his shoulder. "Tell a story."

"Fine...remember the Wyverns at the Fisher King's castle?"

"I remember heroically fighting them off."

"Sorry, Gwaine, but it was me who sent them away."

"No," Gwaine frowned. "I fought them so well."

Merlin shook his head. "Nope. You would've been Wyvern fodder if not for me."

"Okay this isn't fun anymore, no more stories." Gwaine stopped walking and looked around.

"What, you don't want to hear other times I was behind your glory?" Merlin teased and walked ahead.

Gwaine didn't answer. He just stood still, frowning down at his feet.

"What is it?" Merlin looked back.

"We were heading south." He peered at the sun shining through the leaves. "But now we're heading due west. The path we're following should never veer west at all."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're lost, my friend."

Merlin gave Gwaine a sly grin. "You forget whose company you're in. I can find the way again."

Merlin's eyes flashed and he let his senses flood out and between all the trees, winding and searching for anything familiar. He didn't recognize the area. They should be nearing Brechfa by now, but he couldn't see any of the usual landmarks. Suddenly his magic bumped against something large. He retreated in his shock, returning to himself fast enough to make him stumble.

Gwaine saw him jump and pulled out his sword. "What is it?"

"I...I don't know. Something powerful, I think." Merlin looked in the direction he'd felt the force. West. "Something that's leading us off course, apparently."

"What's our move?" Gwaine glared at the trees like they might attack them.

"It managed to change the path, whatever it is. Maybe we should follow it."

"Sure, what's the worst that could happen when you're being lured magically through the woods."

Merlin ignored Gwaine's sarcasm and his own conscience calling him an idiot and felt for the foreign magic again. Once he got a hold on its location, he set off. Gwaine followed. Despite his words Merlin knew the knight would never leave him alone.

They continued west until the sun passed its peak. It didn't seem like Gaius would be getting his herbs and Arthur was going to be furious with Merlin for not completing his daily chores. Merlin would just have to deal with Arthur when they got back. Who knew when that would be.

"Wait a minute," Gwaine glanced around. "I think I know where we are. If I'm right, the trees should start thinning just ahead."

Sure enough, the trees grew less dense and the path started to slope upward. Merlin realized he knew where they were, too. The treeline broke altogether revealing a haggard cliff. At the very top perched the crumbling ruins of the castle of the old kings. The feeling of powerful magic was all around him now, the sensation of being pulled was almost overwhelming. He hadn't felt this the last time they had been here, but that had been years ago.

"Who do you think is up there?" Gwaine gestured to the castle.

Merlin reached out again, but the magic around them was swamping his senses. It seemed to be coming from the very ground itself. "I guess there's only one way to find out."

"Let's get on with it, then." Gwaine started up the path to the castle. "I'd prefer searching an eerie castle to herb picking any day."

Merlin grinned and followed Gwaine. They passed under the decaying gateway in silence. Even Gwaine's humor was subdued by the weight of the walls around them. Centuries dragged the stones back to the earth, but the castle fought to maintain the last of its dignity. Ancient kings used to grace these ruined walls, but now there was only dust.

"Maybe we should split up," Gwaine suggested as they reached a corridor that branched into two directions. 

Merlin nodded, even though he was reluctant to wander the rubble alone. Especially with the sun getting as low as it was. "We'll meet back at the gateway in an hour, all right?"

"See you then," Gwaine drew his sword and set off down the left path.

Merlin took a deep breath and went to the right. He stumbled over debris, bits of stone and fallen tapestries. The later were so faded and moth-eaten he couldn't tell what they used to show. He tried to dismiss his growing nerves, but the buzz of magic had his ears ringing. He continued his search, but the only things he found were rats and bugs. He made his way through a particularly tall archway and found himself in a wide chamber.

Crumbling columns lined the walls but the room was empty save for a large, circular table. Merlin was overcome by a feeling of deja vu. He could almost hear Arthur's voice as he addressed the knights of the round table for the first time. He remembered how unshakably proud he had been to stand at Arthur's side.

_ Emrys. _

The voice boomed in Merlin's head so loud he nearly fell. He slammed his palms against his temples as if he could lessen the pain.

_ Emrys… _

It grew quieter. Almost like a sigh. Merlin ran back into the hall, leaving the round table behind. He spun left and right, searching for the source of the voice.

_ ...emrys… _

Merlin groaned, unsure of where it was coming from, but painfully aware that it was moving away. He cast another glance around and chose a hallway at random. He ran, trying to chase the voice, but with each repetition it grew softer and softer until finally he couldn't hear it at all.

"Where are you?" He called out in desperation. His voice echoed off the bare stone.

No response.

_ Who are you? _ He tried telepathically, but it was no use. Even the feeling of magic faded from the air, as if its wielder had gone away. Merlin sighed in frustration. He made his way back to the gates to find Gwaine.

The knight was waiting for him. He saw the look of disappointment on Merlin's face and frowned. "Nothing, eh?"

"I heard something call out to me, but I couldn't find it."

"Oh well," Gwaine shrugged. "Maybe we're just in the right place at the wrong time."

He patted Merlin's shoulder and gestured towards the setting sun. "We should find those herbs while there's still light. Don't want his mission to be a total bust.

Merlin sighed and followed Gwaine back down the path. Once they reached the treeline once again, he cast one last baleful glance at the castle. Someone was there, he was sure of it. But the magic was gone, there was no point in continuing the search. He slowly turned back to the forest.

….

"And what took you so long?"

Merlin groaned. "Spare me the lecture, Gaius. I just had a similar one from Arthur."

He dropped the bag of herbs on the physician's bench and slumped into a chair, his muscles aching from the journey. Gaius frowned at him. "Run into trouble, did you?"

"Someone with powerful magic led me to the castle of the old kings, but once I was there, they went away," Merlin threw his hands up in exasperation. "If they wanted to speak with me, they should be upfront about it. Instead I wasted a whole day out in the woods."

"The castle of the old kings?" Gaius turned to one of his many bookshelves. "There are many old legends about that place."

Merlin sat up a little straighter. "Like what?"

"The castle's name was Affaraon, if I remember correctly," Gaius took an old leather-bound volume from the shelf and patted the dust off of it. "The first kings of Camelot built it as a fortress to make a stand against northern invaders. It says here that the battle was won with the help of the Red Dragon."

"The Red Dragon?" Merlin whispered. "How long ago was this?"

"Hundreds of years, Merlin." Giaus frowned, hoping he hadn't raised the warlock's hopes. "This dragon, if it was real at all, is almost certainly long dead."

"Then who was out there?" Merlin asked.

"I'm not sure," Gaius closed the book and gave Merlin a pointed look. "But keep in mind that Mordred is gathering an army against you. If this person was as powerful as you say, you need to be careful."

Merlin wasn't convinced. He hadn't felt any animosity. The magic felt pure. Whoever was out there meant him no harm, he was positive. Gaius fixed him with a stern glare. Sometimes Merlin swore the old man could hear his thoughts. "I'll be careful, Gaius. I promise."

Gaius scoffed and picked up the bag of herbs. "Like you ever are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're a true fan of Arthurian legend if you can tell what I'm playing with here. If you do know, shhhhh! No spoilers!! I'm desperately trying to work in the plot I have planned but I get sad at the thought of ending this fic and I'm also terrible at staying focused and planning.
> 
> But there will be loads more to come if I can ever get back into a normal routine, so don't worry!

**Author's Note:**

> I am open to suggestions or plot lines that you all would want to see happen. If there's some interaction or event you want explored, I will gladly attempt to write it!


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